Rules of the Twelfth
by hallow777
Summary: Rule #4 of the 12th precinct's Homicide Division: If you set foot in the precinct with donuts, you absolutely must bring one immediately to Captain Montgomery. If not, he WILL hunt you down.
1. Rule 1

******Rule #1 of the 12th precinct's homicide division: Never, ever leave food on Beckett's desk, unless you are through with it.**

******I do NOT own Castle.**

* * *

Lanie had just gotten back from lunch, and since she had some time left on her lunch break plus the fact that she couldn't bare to part with her double chocolate caramel sundae, she brought it back to work with her.

She had intended to eat it in her small office, and savor every last delicious drop of it, but Perlmutter dashed that dream when he shoved a file in her face the minute she walked into the morgue.

"Take this up to homicide, will you? Your friends seem to think they absolutely need it right now, don't they understand that I do have other bodies to tend to?" He continued on but Lanie had figured out long ago that when he went off on one of this many, many rants, it was just best to walk away. So she took the file, and her sundae, and headed up to pay her friends in the homicide division a visit.

By the time she stepped out of the elevator on the homicide floor, there was a decent sized dent in her sundae.

"Hey Lain! Mind giving us a hand here?" Esposito called from his position by the murder board as he and Ryan tried to fix one of the wheels that had fallen off, only they couldn't keep it steady and figure out how the wheel had come off at the same time.

"Sure." She said, going to place her ice cream down on her boyfriend's desk, only to see it covered in various files and papers. Turning slightly, she realized Ryan's was the same way so she walked over and put it on Beckett's desk before walking over to help the two detectives with the murder board.

Realizing that they were disturbing the other officers who were actually trying to get some work done, Lanie, Ryan, and Esposito moved the broken murder board into the break room so they wouldn't be in the way.

What Lanie didn't know is that you never, ever leave food on Beckett's desk, unless you are through with it.

A few minutes after they had moved into the break room, Beckett came from the Captain's office and sat down at her desk, not even thinking twice before pulling the ice cream closer to her and taking a bite of the delicious chocolate treat.

She was only able to take a few bites before Karpowski was calling her over to look at something Beckett had asked her to search for.

While Beckett was busy with Karpowski, Castle came back from having lunch with Alexis and seeing that Beckett was busy, he took a seat at her desk to wait for her. His eyes were instantly drawn to the ice cream, and since he didn't have time to have dessert earlier, he carefully pulled it towards him and took a bite.

Castle worked on eating the sundae for a few minutes before Beckett came back to her desk, promptly stealing the ice cream from him and started eating it again.

He let her have a few bites before stealing it back, and they continued sharing it until it was nearly gone.

There was one spoonful left and they were arguing over who would get it when Karpowski got their attention by saying their main suspect had been spotted at one of his regular haunts and the writer and detective duo hurried out of the precinct to catch the guy.

The doors of the elevator had just shut when Lanie came out of the break room, having finally helped the boys fix the murder board, only to find that there was nothing but a few drops of her sundae left.

"What the hell? Alright, which one of you idiots ate my ice cream?"

Esposito came up to her and saw the nearly empty bowl on Beckett's desk.

"Oh you left it on Beckett's desk?"

"Yeah? Because yours was too crowded, I didn't want it to accidentally drip on anything important."

"You shouldn't have done that. Castle brings food stuff in here all the time, and Beckett started doing it too, so they automatically assume that anything left on the desk is something one of them brought and they have no problem stealing each others food, so it will be gone in no time."

"They steal each others food, huh?"

"All the time."

"That's so adorable!" Lanie said, already planning to use her next lunch break to leave food on Beckett's desk and watch what happens.


	2. Rule 2

**********Rule #2 of the 12th precinct's Homicide Division: You do NOT, under any circumstances, borrow a pen from Ryan.**

******I do NOT own Castle.**

* * *

"Oh come on, where are all the pens?" Castle muttered to himself as he rifled through Beckett's things on her desk, looking for a pen so he could jot down an idea he had for Nikki Heat.

Normally he would just write it on his phone, but it was currently out of battery since he had forgotten to charge it last night.

So now he was stuck doing things the old fashioned way, only it seems that all the pens have gone missing.

He had even gone so far as to dig through Beckett's purse to find one, with no luck of course.

Just as he thought he was going to have to use the lip-gloss he found in her purse to write this idea down, Ryan and Esposito came back from gathering info on their latest case.

"Hey Ryan, can I borrow a pen?"

"Sure, here you go." Ryan absentmindedly pulled a pen out of his pocket and handed it to Castle, who was just about to take it when he noticed Esposito shaking his head and making frantic 'don't do it' gestures.

He was confused, but took the pen anyway, deciding to ignore Esposito in favor of getting this idea on paper before he forgot it.

Castle quickly pulled the cap off the pen and his fingers came away from the pen wet. When he looked closer, there were definite bite marks on the pen cap.

"Oh! Ewww! That's nasty!" Castle frantically wiped off the spit on a random napkin that was left over from their lunch, and turned to see Ryan sitting at his desk with another pen in his mouth, looking like he didn't know what Castle was freaking out over.

"Dude, I tried to tell you." Esposito just shook his head at his partner, having learned long ago to never borrow one of Ryan's pens.

"I'll never ignore you again. Ever."


	3. Rule 3

**Rule #3 of the 12th precinct's Homicide Division: Never mess with Beckett's chair. She will know.**

**I do NOT own Castle.**

* * *

"Dude, Beckett isn't going to be happy with you." Esposito commented when he walked into the bullpen to see Castle sitting in Beckett's chair, playing some game on her computer.

"She isn't going to be back for a while. By then I'll have everything put back exactly the way it was and she'll never know."

Castle went back to his game so Esposito turned to Ryan. "Twenty says she notices when she gets back."

"No deal, she's totally going to notice." Ryan said without even looking up from his paperwork.

"You have such little faith in my skills, I'll take that bet." Esposito turned back around to see Castle grinning at him, hand stuck out, waiting to seal the deal.

"You're on. Easiest twenty I've ever made." So easy in fact, that he felt just a tiny bit bad for Castle.

* * *

Castle tried not to chuckle too evilly as he looked at the pictures of Beckett's desk and chair he had taken earlier, then set about placing everything back exactly as it was in the pictures.

He had even started putting things back to normal nearly thirty minutes before Beckett was due to be back, just in case she came back early.

A good five minutes later, Castle sat back and admired his work. There was no way she would be able to tell he had been messing with her stuff while she was gone.

Easiest bet ever.

* * *

"Castle!"

"Ow ow! Leggo leggo leggo leggo! Apples! Apples!" Castle squealed in a slightly nasally voice as Beckett grabbed his nose painfully.

"What have I told you about messing with my chair?"

"I didn't! It's just like how it was when you left!"

"No, it's not. My chair has been moved. Mess with it again and I'll-" Beckett stopped in mid-sentence as an idea came to her. "Actually no, let's go about this a different way, since threats obviously don't seep through that thick head of yours. If you don't mess with my chair, I'll tell you a secret about me."

"Really?" His eyes lit up at that and she grinned, letting go of his nose

"Yup." Beckett rolled her eyes at the writer, then headed to the Captain's office to tell him what she found out on her trip.

While Beckett did that, Castle sidled up to Esposito's desk, reluctantly handing him a twenty.

"Told ya she'd notice."

"Yeah well, all I have to do is not mess with her chair for..." Castle trailed off as he finally realized that he had fallen right into Beckett's trap.

She never made it clear just how long he had to stay away from her chair to earn the 'secret' so that he'd have to stay away from her chair forever without ever getting to know the secret.

* * *

**For anyone wondering where I disappeared to yesterday, I had a bit of a family issue that I had to take care of and couldn't write. And it's late again today, I'm sorry. I'll try to start doing better soon XD**


	4. Rule 4

**Rule #4 of the 12th precinct's Homicide Division: If you set foot in the precinct with donuts, you absolutely _must_ bring one immediately to Captain Montgomery. If not, he WILL hunt you down.**

******I do NOT own Castle.**

******For anyone wondering, there will be more Caskett related rules soon. Just that most seem to revolve around the boys more right now.**

******Also, these aren't really in any specific timeline. And they don't really flow one after another. Just little glimpses into the precinct life. XD**

* * *

Beckett, Ryan, and Esposito all jumped when the Captain slammed open his office door, hurrying out of his office with his nose in the air. The Captain sniffed the air a few times in each direction, before taking off towards the elevator that had just opened to reveal Castle carrying a pastry box.

"Hey there Captain," The writer said as Captain Montgomery stopped right in front of him. "I got us some donuts, figured we could use the-"

Without a word, the Captain snatched the box from Castle, quickly opening it and taking a donut before retreating back into his office with his prize.

"-sugar...Okay, that was a little weird." A now very confused Castle walked into the bullpen to see that though the rest had been watching that scene, they weren't surprised at all.

"So...Anyone want to explain what that was about?"

"Captain likes his donuts." Was all that Esposito said, as if that explained everything.

"I can tell."

"Oh that was nothing," Beckett walked over to the writer and snatched a donut from the box. "You should have seen the time Karpowski brought one back after her lunch break, not even thinking about bringing an extra one for the Captain. She hid in one of the storage rooms on the basement floor, but he still found her and 'confiscated' the donut."

Well, at least now he knew what to do if he ever made the Captain mad.

* * *

"No, I refuse detective! He nearly blew up the whole damn precinct! I'm not letting him back in here."

"But, sir..." Beckett tried to get him to change his mind, but he was not swaying even a tiny bit.

She did her best to try and get him to let Castle shadow her again for a few minutes longer, but nothing was working.

Just as she was about to give up, there was a knock at the office door. It was a delivery guy.

"Captain Roy Montgomery?" The guy asked and when the Captain nodded, he handed over a huge box.

"Sign here, please." As soon as he had his signature, the delivery guy was gone, leaving Beckett and the Captain with the box.

"What in the world..." He muttered as Beckett watched him carefully pry open the lid of the box. His eyes lit up like a kid seeing a ton of presents under the tree on Christmas morning and his face split into a Cheshire cat's grin.

"Okay, you tell Castle he can come back. But! If he ever does anything like that again, it's going to take a lot more than this to get back into my good graces."

Beckett just blinked at him for a minute, before deciding not to look the gift horse in the mouth and headed out of the office to let Castle know the good news, leaving the Captain alone with his giant box of donuts.


End file.
